Strap them kids in
Give 'em a
Little bit of vodka
In a
Cherry coke
We're goin to
Oklahoma
To the
Family reunion
For the
First time in years
It's up at
Uncle Slaton's
Cuz he's gettin on in years
You know he
No longer travels but he's
Still pretty spry
Not much on talking
He's just too mean to die
And they'll be
Comin' down from Kansas and from
West Arkansas
It'll be one
Great big old party
Like you
Never saw

Uncle Slaton's got his
Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He's got a
Airstream trailer
And a
Holstein cow
Still makes whiskey
Cuz he
Still knows how
He plays that
Chocktaw bingo
Every Friday night
You know he
Had to leave texas but he won't say why
He owns a quarter section up by
Lake Eufaulla
Caught a
Great big ol bluecat
On a
Driftin jugline
Sells his hardwood timber to the chippin' mill
Cooks that
Crystal meth
Becuz his shine don't sell
He cooks that crystal meth becuz
His shine don't sell
You know he
Likes that money,
He don't mind the smell

My cousin Roscoe,
Slaton's oldest boy
From his second marriage
Up in Illinois
He uz
Raised in East St Louis
By his
Mamma's people where they do
Things different
Thought he'd just come on down
He's goin' to Dallas texas in a
Semi truck
Cross from that big mcdonalds
You know that one that's built up on that
Great big old bridge across the
Will rogers turnpike
Took the big cabin exit
Stopped and bought a carton of cigarettes
At that
Indian smoke shop with the
Big neon smoke rings
In the cherokee nation
Hit muskogee late that night
Somebody
Ran the stoplight
At the
Shawnee bypass
Roscoe
Tried to miss him
But he didn't quite

Bob and mae come pu from
Some little town way down by
Lake Texoma
Where he
Coaches football
They were
Two-A champions now for
Two years running
But he says they wont be this year
No
They wont be this year
And he s
Topped off in tuska
At the pop knife and gun place
Bought a
Sks rifle
And a couple full cases of that
Steel core ammo
With the
Berdan primers
From some
East bloc nation
That no longer needs em
And a desert eagle
That's one
Great big old pistol
I mean fifty caliber
Made by
Bad-ass Hebrews
And some
Surplus tracers for that old BAR
Of slaton's
As soon as it gets dark
Were gonna
Have us a time
Were gonna
Have us a
Time
Have us a time

Ruth-anne and lynn come down from Bsxter Springs
That's one
Hell-raisin town way up in
Southeastern kansas
Got a
Biker bar next to the
Lingerie store
That's got them rollin stones lips up there in
Bright pink neon
And they're right downtown where
Everyone can see em
And they burn all night
You know
They burn all night
You know
They burn all night

Ruth ann and lynn
They wear them
Cutoff britches and them
Skinny little halters
And they're second cousins to me
Man I don't care
I wanna
Get between um
With a great big old hard on
Like a fence post
Hang a
Pipe??? gate from
Sister's twisters
We'll be
Having us some time
Having us some time

Uncle Slaton's got his
Texan pride
Back in the thickets with his Asian bride
He's cut that
Corner pasture into
Acre lots
He sells them
Owner financed
Strictly to them
That's got no
Kind of credit
Cause he knows they're slackers
And they'll
Miss that payment
And he
Takes it back
He plays that
Choctaw bingo
Every friday night
He drinks his
Johnny walker
At that club 69
We're gonna
Strap those kids in
Give em a
Little bit of benadryl
We're gonna have us a time
We're gonna have us a time