[story teller] Once upon a time  in the black part of the city
 [young kid] Yo G  yo G you better get out of here man  5 0
 [door swings shut  car peels out]

 [Russ] Yo Ice Cube  man
 [Cube] Whassup man?
 [Russ] Why you...
 [Cube] Whassup?
 [Russ] Yo Ice Cube man  why you always kickin the shit about the bitches
 and the niggaz? Why don't you kick some shit about the kids, man? The
 fuckin kids?!
 [Cube] Word

 Verse One: Ice Cube

 Little boys and girls, they all love me
 Come sit on the lap of I-C-E
 And let me tell ya a story or two
 About a punk-ass nigga I knew
 Named Jack, he wasn't that nimble, wasn't that quick
 Jumped over the candlestick and burnt his dick
 Ran up the street cause he was piping hot
 Met a bitch named Jill on the bus stop
 Dropped a line or two, and he had the hoe
 At that type of shit he's a pro
 So Jack and Jill ran up the hill to catch a lil nap
 Dumb bitch, gave him the claps
 Then he had to go see Dr. Bombay
 Got a shot in the ass, and he was on his way
 To make some money, why not?
 Down on Sesame Street, the dope spot
 There he saw the lady who lived in a shoe
 Sold dope out the front, but in back, marijuana grew
 For the man that was really important
 Who lived down the street in a Air Jordan
 Ride to the fellow Mister Rogers and hoes
 Drove a 500 sittin on Lorenzoes
 He broke out, Little Bo Peep, smoked out
 Saw, her and her friends sellin sheepskins

 [Little Bo Peep] Yo yo I got them sheepskins
 Yo, my empty sheepskins
 Yo baby, what's up with that?

 Hickory dickory dock, it was twelve o'clock
 Cinderella ain't home must be givin up the cock
 I don't doubt it, she is kind of freaky of course
 Had a fight with Snow White, she was fuckin her dwarfs
 Saw a fight over colors, too
 Red Riding Hood, and Little Boy Blue
 A bad influence? Yo I don't know
 But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the story should go


 Interlude: Little Russ

 Yeah money, that's it, yeah money, that's it
 This is Little Russ in the house
 Rock that shit homey, rock that shit!
 [Well, you know the rest]

 Verse Two: Ice Cube

 Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
 With a joint, drinkin some 8-ball
 Three little pigs in a Coup de Ville
 Lookin for, the wolf to kill
 They're fucked up and they want revenge
 Them and Humpty used to be friends
 Now they're enemies cause he's a traitor
 Pulled out the Uzi cruised by and sprayed him
 Cinderella hoeing for the fellas
 And Mister Rogers is gettin mighty jealous
 Of the cash that the pigs were makin
 Time for the pigs to get turned to bacon
 Cause Mister Rogers found out quick
 That Humpty Dumpty was blown to bits
 They said that the motherfuckin wolf was next
 So Mister Rogers better watch his step
 So he let the wolf know
 We're gonna fuck up the pigs, and take their ho
 Cause Cinderella is much too fast
 Before twelve, givin up ass
 Double barrels all loaded and cocked
 As soon as they show, they gonna get popped
 They bailed down Sesame Street and caught em
 Little Boy Blue is up front givin orders
 Little did they know Cinderella was a fink
 She called the cops and got thrown in the clink
 A bad influence? Yo, I don't know
 But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the stories should go

 Outro: Little Russ, Ice Cube

 [Cube] Aiyyo man was that dope enough for you?
 [Russ] Yeah you aight, you in the house
 We outta here, seeeee-yaaaaa
 [Cube] Yeah you better go home before I whoop your little bad ass

 [Barney Rubble] Some bedtime story huh?
 [Bugs Bunny] It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live here

 [Andrew Dice Clay] Ay, good ol' Mother Goose, remember her? I fucked her