(spoken)
What's all this spunk on the duckboards?
Come on Lawrence... come on Lawrence...
Let's go out and have a prayer meeting
Take a chance with our new shotgun
Hey! Come on Lawrence!
It's time we escaped again, my son
Oi!
Come on!

aaargh
Hey, hey, take me away I hate waking up in this place
There's nutters in here who whistle and cheer

When they're watching a one-legged race
And a one-legged prefect gets me in bed

Makes me play with his dick
And One legged horn and he's shouting the odds
Driving me bloody well sick

When I get better, when I get strong
Will I be alright in the head?
They're making me well, if they're caring for me
Why do they boot me and punch me?
Why do they bash me and crunch me?
Some of the counterpanes are pink and other ones are blue

Hey, hey, take me away
From the ones that go mad every night
They're crazy and dangerous one-legged sods
Who have to sit down when they bite
One-legged Peter who knows bloody well
He's got worse ever since he came in
This other poor cunt, he was born back-to-front
And he's always got stuff on his chin

When I get better, when I get strong
Will I be alright in the head?
Give me a sweet and accost me
I'll do hope God hasn't lost me
I know it’s brown and the walls have been scraped with blood where someone hanged themself

I hope so!

Get it?

Hey, hey, take me away
I'm the first to put last in the past
Take the handcuffs away and please do what I say
'Cos I hate the untouchable cast
I want to be normal in body and soul
And normal in thought, word and in deed
And everyone here will whistle and cheer
And be happy to see me succeed

Cheerful Charlie Ashforth
Now that I'm better, now that I'm strong
Will I be alright in the head?
Grey worry lines in all my designs
And life isn't rosy, it's red
As to why I wrote this song
I ain't done nothing wrong, but I'm unhappy
Question: Do you blame your life on life
And say it all began before the nappy?

Hey, hey, take me away
(REPEAT)