Grant Lawrence, he kicks ass in the forest
Grant Lawrence, he kicks ass in the forest

Grant is the motherfucking man from the Smugglers band
He's on Radio CBC all across the land
He bitch-slapped Captain Vancouver in the face
And rowed a boat to Desolation Sound
He's a motherfucking outdoorsman freak
Yeah, the best around

Grant Lawrence, he kicks ass in the forest
Grant Lawrence, he kicks some fucking ass

He's a tough son of a bitch
He can slap an octopus between the tits, oh yeah!
He can beat a fucking cougar up with only one hand
And stop a hundred pucks
Because he's the fucking kind of guy
That you could high five forever

Danko Jones sucks (He sucks, vote Lawrence)
Joey Shithead (No, Grant Lawrence, yes)
Avril Lavigne (No fucking way, Lawrence, yes)
Alex Trebek (No thanks, Grant Lawrence, yes)
It's hard to sing (Two more votes for Lawrence)
This fucking high (We have a new Prime Minister)

Grant Lawrence, king of the forest
Grant Lawrence, king of the forest
He's the fucking man
Tonight