Now I was down upon my luck
And the jobs were hard to find
I was sort of short on cash
And my bills were way behind

So I went to see my life long friend
An old man now by trade
I figured it's how he had help me out
With his fortune he had made

I said, “Old pal, I need your help
I hate to be so bold
But remember when I saved your life
Down at the swimming hole

Now I'd like to ask a favor
If you can see your way
I'd like to have a little loan”
And then I heard him say

“Excuse me total stranger
I can't seem to recall
Are you absolutely certain
That we've ever met at all?"

"I'd really like to help you out”
As he opened wide the door
“So long total stranger
That I've never seen before”

Now once I had a girlfriend
Who really caught my eye
And when the wife was out of town
Well, I'd court her on the sly

We'd taken all the nightclubs
And honky tonk around
Join at all the parties
And really do the town

But then one night my wife came home
She must have smelled a rat
She looked around from place to place
And found where I was at

Well, there we were all cuddled up
I knew that I was dead
But before my wife could say a word
I jumped right up and said

“She's just a total stranger
Who came in off the streets
The place is kinda crowded
So I offered her a seat"

"Now, I couldn't leave this lady
Just a standin' on the floor
She's just a total stranger
That I've never seen before”

My friend said let's go huntin'
I've got the gun and chills
The birds are really flyin'
And I think we'll do quite well

He killed a half a dozen
Then said, “I supposed
I really ought to tell you
That the huntin' season's closed”

About that time he heard a noise
And he ducked behind a tree
He took the gun, shelled some birds
And gave them all to me

Up stepped the old game warden
And found me standing there
Before I had a chance to talk
I heard my friend declare

“He's just a total stranger
And I was passing by
I saw this total stranger
Shoot those birds out of the sky”

“It's a shame the way some people
The laws they do ignore
Like this total stranger
That I've never seen before”