I got to Kansas City on a Firday

By Saturday I learned a thing or two

Cuz up to then I didn't have an idy

Of whut the modern world was comin' to!



I counted twenty gas buggies goin' by their sels

Almost every time I took a walk

Then I put my ear to a bell telephone

And a strange woman started in to talk



To you?



What next?



Yeah what?



What next?

Gather round!



Everythin's up to date in Kansas City

They've gone about as fur as they can go

They went and built a skyscraper seven stories high

About as high as a buildin' oughta grow

Everythin's like a dream in Kansas City

It's better than a magic lantren show

You can turn the radiator on

Whenever you want some heat

With every kind of comfort

Every house is all complete

You can walk to privies in the rain

And never wet your feet!

They've gone about as fur as they can go



Yes sir!

They've gone about as fur as they can go



Everythin's up to date in Kansas City

They've gone about as fur as they can go

They've got a big theyater they call a burleeque

For fifty cents you can see a dandy show



Gals?



One of the gals was fat and pink and pretty

As round above as she was round below

I could swear that she was padded

From her shoulder to her heel

But latter in the second act

When she began to peel

She proved that everyhin' she had was absolutely real!

She went about as fur as she can go



Yes sir!

She went about as fur as she can go!