Half Man Half Biscuit (HMHB)

Half Man Half Biscuit (HMHB) - Ballad Of Climie Fisher lyrics

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Now here comes a story that's never been told
About the turbulent demise of Climie Fisher
They had their success and they went separate ways

Fisher went to work as a researcher for the BBC 
Education Department; rented a flat in Norbury, South 
London. Climie moved into the gravel business, with his 
brother. Theirs was the place to go for White Dolomite 
and Canterbury Spur. It was a small but profitable 
operation, specialised in large driveways. Top of the 
range was called a “Hadleigh”; so named after the TV 
series.

Now keep this in mind
Fisher hates gravel
And Fisher hates shale
It goes right through him

In the spring of 1995, Climie did an interview for 
“Mixed Aggregate” magazine, in which he criticised his 
ex-partner for not giving him the credit he felt he 
deserved during their days of chart stardom. Fisher 
read the article, became incensed, and started a smear 
campaign against the brothers' business which proved 
immensely damaging. When Climie eventually found out 
livelihood, he swore revenge – this time with a full-
page statement in “Asphalt”. One hundred pound a word. 
Spent his last five hundred pounds to say: “You're a 
dead man, Fisher.”

Now here comes a story that's never been told

In the meantime, Fisher had started to pine for his 
music, and decided to get a band together. Do a few 
gigs; nothing serious, just enjoy it, see what happens, 
kinda thing. Thought it might be fun to do some out-of-
the-way venues. So it passed that on October the 3rd 
1995, he took to the stage at the Duke Of Marlborough 
pub in Amesbury, on the south-eastern edge of Salisbury 
Plain. Well of course Climie had somehow found out 
about all this, and was standing right in front of 
Fisher with pockets full of gravel. Thirty seconds into 
the first song and he's raining his stones down at 
Fisher's feet. Well the music stops. Fisher goes 
beserk. Mayhem. Police cars.

I'll tell you a story that's never been told

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Author: ?

Composer: ?

Publisher: ?

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Language: English

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