CORNY 

And now, live, from the certified up-to-code Baltimore Eventorium... 

...for the first time ever on nationwide television... 

it's The Corny Collins Spectacular...



COUNCIL GIRLS

He's Corny!!



CORNY

...brought to you by Ultra Clutch Hairspray!



CORNY (& ENSEMBLE) 

What gives a girl 

Power and punch? 

Is it charm, is it poise? 

No, it's hairspray! 



What gets a gal 

Asked out to lunch 

Is it brains, is it dough? 

No, it's hairspray! 



If you take a ride 

With no can at your side 

Then your flip will be gone 

With the wind 



But if you spray it and lock it, 

You can take off in a rocket 

And in outer space 

Each hair will be in place 



Why take a chance 

When you get up and dance 

If you twist, i insist 

You use hairspray 



And tell your mother 

Her head she should smother 

With "ultra-clutch" faithfully



So if you're a redhead, 

A blonde or brunette 

Just take my advice 

And you might just get 

The only thing better than hairspray



CORNY 

That's me! 



ENSEMBLE 

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya 

Doo-dle-e-ya do wah 



CORNY 

Forget the milkman 

The only thing better than hairspray 



ENSEMBLE 

Hairspray! Wow! 



CORNY 

That's me! 



CORNY & ENSEMBLE 

What makes a man 

Reach out and touch? 

Ultra clutch! 



CORNY & ENSEMBLE 

So if you're a redhead, 

A blonde or brunette 

Just take my advice 

And you might just get 



CORNY

The only thing better than hairspray 

That's me!



ENSEMBLE

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya 

Doo-dle-e-ya do wah



COUNCIL GIRLS

He's Corny Collins!



CORNY

The only thing better than hairspray



ENSEMBLE

Hairspray! Wow!



CORNY

That's me!



ENSEMBLE

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah 

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya do wah! 

Do wow!



CORNY

"Hey, baby, you look like you could use a stiff one!"



BRENDA

Ska-doo-dle-e-ya-do do wah!!!!