I'm wearing your perfume sample like a scapular
And it's sucking the life of me like Dracula
Morning you were chorus and verse
And I'm warning you it only gets worse
Worse

PRECHORUS
I couldn't sweeten this deal if I slid down your chimney with it
If I seem off you can just turn me on and in time I swear you'll ignore it

CHORUS
So be my best imaginary
Very very best imaginary
Be my best imaginary friend
With benefits

This is why they shouldn't let me out
This is why you wouldn't let me in no
I gave my usual act of contrition
And you wouldn't let me pass go
You wouldn't let me pass go

REPEAT PRECHORUS + CHORUS

There's a price tag on everything about me
And you can bet it's going cheap
You can bet you can have
The shirt off my back
The shirt off my back
You can have what's underneath

REPEAT CHORUS

I couldn't sweeten this deal
I couldn't sweeten this deal
I couldn't sweeten this deal if I slid down your chimney with it