Guy Lombardo

 Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three
 I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be
 This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
 My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

 Oh I'm my own grandpa
 I'm my own granpa
 It sounds funny I know,
 But it really is so
 Oh I'm my own grandpa

 This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
 My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife
 To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy
 I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

 My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
 And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
 For if he was my uncle, then that also made him br'ther
 Of the widow's grown-up daughter who was also my stepmother

 Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run
 And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
 My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue
 Because altho' she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

 Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
 And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
 For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw
 As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa