I was feelin' depressed I was feelin real low down 

I felt so bad I could not get my butt up off the grounds 

I was mopin' around the house I was bumpin' into walls 

I was cryin' at the Andy Griffith show and I was snappin' and the dog 

I was startin' to fear for my sanity 

I could not find my ego with both hands 



So I decided professional help was the only hope for me 

So I called up this number which I'd gotten of T.V. 

They said "Are you havin' marital problems Are you emotionally impaired 

Are you sure you're bein' followed or Are you just scared of bein' scared? 

Well if so you better come on in have a little talk with the doc" 



So I did 



I said doctor good doctor I got trouble on my mind 

Listen to me doc I don't have too much time 

I got a feelin' down inside me and it will not go away 

You know it hangs on and bangs on my soul every day 

Doctor good doctor I'm grabbin' at loose ends 

And I haven't felt like I used to since I don't know when 

Yesterday go past me today is all the same 

And tomorrow really scares me I just can't play the game 



He said quit whinin' 

He said straighten up and fly right 

He said life is not a piece of cake 

He wanted to know if my insurance was paid up 

Well I'm O.K. You're O.K. if the check's O.K. 

Second best hundred dollars I ever spent