I don't know if you've heard the news but I'm a boy

Who's got himself a problem so big it's no joy

You see I've something that people claim

Could bring me fortune and instant fame

A face so ugly you could hardly blame 

Anybody here for saying so

 

I think I'll bury myself deep beneath the ground

And come up only when there's no one else around

And if by chance someone approaches me

And that someone happens to be a she

You can bet your life in time of worry

I wouldn't hesitate but to be that way



Oh why can't girls just look at me and smile

Instead of looking at me as though 

I will turn my head and before I go to bed 

Gaily underneath the blanket go



I've even wrote to Marjorie Proops, but she can't help

The best that she could offer me was disguise yourself

Well this I've done would you believe not twice

But more than once in fact I think it was nice

So much so when I'm inclined to hurry

I wouldn't hesitate but to be that way-oh oh oh



Woh! Woh!