But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
  Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
Done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
I got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
 And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
 And she said...)

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
'Cause if my mind's tore up
Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on

The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ________ if I wasn't done yet

I told her...
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN OOOOH!
She surrended to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
'Bout her mental health
'Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline...

Kiss my aura...Dora...
M-M-M...it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

MMM...sound like y'might be chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more...

MMM, sure...listen
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM...tweezers!
Here, lemme sterilize 'em...
Gimme your lighter...

I couldn't say where she's coming' from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm,
  Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe