Artist: Frank Zappa

Title: Cops and Buns

-------------------------------



Patrolman Lefemine:

Now, we don't come up here because we feel like walkin' four flights at three

o'clock in the morning. 



Frank Zappa:

Yeah. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

We were up here last night. (bark, bark) Now for us- 



Frank Zappa:

Last night? 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Yes. 



Frank Zappa:

I wasnt here last night. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Now for us to continually come up to this here place every night and not show

no action other than to say, yes theres a , we look kinda bad. I mean. lets 

be honest. Now if you had to give me any kinda reccomendation, or mark 

my word, a mistake, every night, 3-4, 2-4, betwen those hours you guys are

at 53 E 10 st, what are you doin there every night? You mean you-you permit 

this kinda condition to continue on without once giving a summons? 



Unknown:

Alright, your lawyer says to knock it off! 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Uh, were puttin ourselves over backwards with these people. Do you know 

what were doin? Do you know what were doin? 



Frank Zappa:

No, tell me. No, please tell me. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Well this is, if were up here once were up here twenty times. I know that little

 guy, like the guy at the...like a long-lost brother. Now if we ever get called 

down, if this ever goes to a big explosion, and they say, Officer, what did 

you do, did you ever issue summonses?, they get ... this is all in the rekkid 

book, how many times we been up here. This is all rekkids... 



Frank Zappa:

m-hmm 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Now if these people wanna subpeona these rekkids, they could subpeona these 

rekkids. An they could find out how many times we been.. this is us on- Wait! 

This is us alone! An they say, Officer, what did you do? Warn em? You mean

to tell me you were up here about twenty times an you never issued a 

summons? 



Unknown:

There have been summonses. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Well, WE never issued em! How many summonses have you gotten for noise? 

Unknown:

What, me personally, or the studio? 



Patrolman Lefemine:

The studio, studio. Unknown:

I don't know how many, but theres a court case pending right now.. 



Unknown:

We've gotten one. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

One! One! And how many times have I, eh, uh, hey listen! As I say, if I been 

up here once Ive been up here twenty times already. 



Frank Zappa:

Hey look, stop it, pack that stuff up, stop making noise you guys! 



Unknown:

Yeah, well, I understand 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Well, whose in charge here at the studio? 



Unknown:

here he is

In charge? 



Patrolman Lefemine:

IN charge

He's more or less in charge 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Are you in charge? I don't run the studio.. I jus.. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Alright, listen, lemme tell you one thing

I'm in- I'm in charge 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Youre in charge at this point

alright 



Patrolman Lefemine:

My name is Patrolman Lefemine 



Frank Zappa:

Here, have a BUN. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Now, as of tonight, right 



Frank Zappa:

You wanna BUN? 



Patrolman Lefemine:

If I come back here, and every night that I do come back here, I don't care 

who says he's in charge, I will issue a summons 



Frank Zappa:

I'm issuing you a bun 



Patrolman Lefemine:

An anybody thinks its a great joke, you can all laugh in the car... We havent 

put out one hit record yet? My goodness. It takes a long time. You know 

what I mean. 



Patrolman Lefemine:

This is ridiculous! 



Frank Zappa:

Are you sure you don't want one o those breakfast rolls on your way down 

the stairs?

You better believe that I don't want nuthin

Who gets-who gets the summons, is the the organization? 



Patrolman Lefemine:

Whoever it is in charge at the time. He could say Joe Blow, I don't care what 

kind of a name he gives. Then if the courts decide if they wanna know who

 he's takin orders from, theyll summons that person to court. Thats all there 

is to it.

Alright. Take care.

Right.

Okay. 



Frank Zappa:

Nighty-night!

(Cough!)