OK, I`m going to attempt to drown myself 
You can try this at home 
You can be just like me!
Mic check one two.. we recordin? 
I`m cancerous, so when I diss you wouldn`t wanna answer this
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
I strangled you to death then I choked you again
Then break your fuckin legs till your bones poke through your skin
You beef wit me, I`ma even the score equally
Take you on Jerry Springer, and beat yer ass legally
I get you blunted off of funny home grown
Cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono
(Ohh no!!)  So if I said I never did drugs
That would mean I lie AND get fucked more than the President does
Hillary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch!)
My nerves hurt, and lately I`m on edge
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blonde dreads (Fuck you!)
Every girl I ever went out wit is goin lez
Follow me and do exactly what the song says:
smoke weed, take pills, drop outta school, kill people and drink
And jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
I`m dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
So I`m dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
Some people only see that I`m white, ignorin skill
Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
But I don`t get pissed, y`all don`t even see through the mist
How the fuck can I be white, I don`t even exist
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
My middle finger won`t go down, how do I wave?
And this is how I`m supposed to teach kids how to behave?
	Now follow me and do exactly what you see
Don`t you wanna grow up to be just like me!
	I slap women and eat shrooms then O.D.
Now don`t you wanna grow up to be just like me!
Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold`
Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
Killed em both and smeared blood in a white Bronco (we did it!)
My mind won`t work if my spine don`t jerk
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his Rhinestone shirt
I`m not a player just a ill rhyme sayer
That`ll spray an Aerosol can up at the ozone layer (psssssssh)
My rap style`s warped, I`m runnin out the morgue
witcha dead grandmother`s corpse to throw it on your porch
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon wit a cape on
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
I`m bout as normal as Norman Bates, with deformative traits
A premature birth that was four minutes late
Mother.. are you there?  I love you
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel
Will someone explain to my brain that I just severed
a main vein with a chainsaw and I`m in pain?
I take a breather and sighed; either I`m high, or I`m nuts
Cause if you ain`t tiltin this room, neither am I
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass 
Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her
Cause when I drop this solo shit it`s over with
I bought Cage`s tape, opened it, and dubbed over it
	I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
Don`t you wanna grow up to be just like me!
	I`ve been with 10 women who got HIV
Now don`t you wanna grow up to be just like me!
	I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
Don`t you wanna grow up to be just like me!
	I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me!!!