The Night Before Larry Was Stretched





Oh, the night before Larry was stretched 

Well the boys they all paid him a visit 

A bit in their sacks too they fetched 

For they sweated their duds till they ris' it 

For Larry was always the lad 

When a boy was condemned to the Squeezer 

Would fence all the duds that he had 

For to help his poor friend to a sneezer-- 

-- And warm his ol' gob 'fore he died 



Well the boys they came crowding in fast 

And they threw all their stools 'round about him 

Six glims round his trap-case was placed 

For he couldn't be well-waked without them 



When one of them asked, "Could he die 

Without having duly repented?" 

Said Larry, "That's all in me eye 

And first by the clergy invented-- 

--For to get a fat bit for themselves" 



"Oh and I'll be cut up like a pie: 

And me nob from me body be parted. 

You're in the wrong box, then, says I, 

For blast me if they're so hard-hearted 



"A chalk on the back of your neck 

Is all that Jack Catch dares to give you 

Then mind not such trifle's affect 

Oh why should the likes of them grieve you?-- 

--And now boys, come tip us the deck." 



Well the cards being called for they played 

Until Larry found one of them cheated 

A point in his napper was made

For the boy he'd been easily heated 



"Oh, hold me the hokey, you thief! 

I'll scuttle your knob with me dodle! 

You cheat me because I'm in grief 

Ah, but soon I'll demolish your noddle-- 

--And leave you your claret to drink" 



Then the clergy came in with his book 

And he spoke him so smooth and so civil 

Larry tipped him kill-sour look 

And he pitched his big wig to the devil 



Then sighing he threw back his head 

For to get a sweet drop of the bottle 

And dutiful sighing he said, 

"Oh the hempt 'twill be soon 'round me throttle-- 

--And choke me poor windpipe to death. 



"Oh then sure it's the best way to die 

Oh the dead are no better the living 

For now when the gallows is high

Our journey is shorter to heaven." 



But what harasses Larry the most 

And makes his soul poor melancholy 

Is he thinks of the time when his ghost 

It will come in a sheet to Sweet Molly-- 

--"Oh sure, it'll kill her alive" 



So moving, these last words he spoke 

We all vented our tears in a shower 

For me own part I thought me heart broke 

For to see him cut down like a flower 



On his travels we watched him next day 

The throttler I thought I could kill him 

But Larry not one word did say 

Nor change did he come to King William-- 

--And then did his color grow white. 



When he came to the old Dublin Chit 

He was tucked up so neat and so pretty 

The rumbler jugged off from his feet 

And he died with his face to the city 



He kicked too, but that was all pride 

For soon you might see 'twas all over 

Soon after the noose was untied 

In darkness we waked him in clover-- 

--And sent him to take his ground sweat 



Oh, the night before Larry was stretched 

Well the boys they all paid him a visit 

A bit in their sacks too they fetched 

For they sweated their duds till they ris' it 



For Larry was always the lad 

When a boy was condemned to the Squeezer 

Would fence all the duds that he had 

For to help his poor friend to a sneezer-- 

--And warm his ol' gob 'fore he died 

--And warm his ol' gob 'fore he died