.... Calling all Americans of above-average intelligence...

College graduates, apply today...

Come decimate dictatorships and overthrow regimes

In exotic far-off places the vacation of your dreams

You'll assemble puppet governments and play the hand of God

We're an equal-opportunity crime fighting squad



[Chorus]

Citizen C.I.A.

Citizen C.I.A.



Now I've trained an army for my kids to fight one day

We'll teach them all of our secrets and then we'll walk away

We're knee-deep in guerillas, yeah the party never stops

United States of America undercover cop



[Chorus]



Five weeks paid vacation and a 401K