Elvis Presley is alive and living in the Queen Mother!

Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha!
Lust crazed and underaged in teenage rampage
(EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about shit! )
Bible bashing whorey story, bible bashing whorish Tory
(Milords, milords, ladies, ladies - milords! )
Public virtue, private vice, animal sacrifice
Muslim terror, horror in the air
And Kylie is an alien!

Transvestite in the House of Commons, Margaret Thatcher, witches' coven
(I told you not to do that Dennis.)
A journey to Hell through a virgin bloodbath
(I was a teenage twelve year old! )
Tie me up and tease me, rubber please said specialist
Athlete fails drug test, trio in a love nest
Kylie is a brussel sprout!

Reform girls eat castrated cocker spaniels
Minister in panty raid, schoolgirl scandal
Pervert, vandal, impaled on the handle, bug eyed fruit loops
We are at war with evil, we are at war with evil, we are at war with evil Gotcha!

Here comes the Sun, the Guardian and the Truth
The Herald, the Times, delivered to me and you
I read it all in letters ten foot tall
The news of the newspaper writing on the toilet walls

Siamese twins in incest torture chamber
(Hurt me, hurt my brother... Just hurt my brother! )
Herbal remedy for terminal cancer, midget doctor, Caesarean catastrophe
Test tube baby turns to black tar algae
(I didn't mean to hurt her the bastards forced me! )
Acupuncture proved to be cure for haemophilia
Kylie has a sister
(Dannii! Arrgh! )

Quiet student real life pantyhose serial killer
(Norman, Norman, act like a man! )
Violent sex crime and a cannibal dinner
Dwarf and giant in a dirty sex video
Man dies of rust after eating auto
Polygamy for larger lout
(My best friend is a brussel sprout! )
And Kylie is a poofter
And Jason is a hetero

Boy, 5, gives birth to deformed older brother
Maltese girl, 13, great great grandmother
Sewerage system feeds a two-headed monster
Medal of honour for an armless butcher
We are at war with evil, we are at war with evil
Gotcha!

Here comes the Sunday sport, the news of the world
My page three lady, she's a big, big girl
I read it all in letters ten foot tall
The views of the news smearing shit down toilet walls
Through the halls, across the floor, smearing shit over us all

Gotcha!