Sooty's all grown up, he's not a puppet anymore
He's interested in getting pissed and passing out on the floor
He glassed Basil Brush with a bottle of Stout
And threw a dart in Sweep's eyes before he pulled it out

Who's that walking on air?
Bouncing down the street without a care?

It's Skinhead Sooty with a killer xylophone
Blood soaked bovver boots, a racist attitude
A mean fucking mother son
Not afraid of anyone
Got the others on the run
Here he comes, here he comes
Sooty the Skin, oi!
Squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak! Oi!

Sooty's got a tattoo and he's gone and shaved his head
He's dating Muppets half his age and getting 'em into bed
He says his friends are all miserable pricks
They're married now, or dead and gone or mentally sick

Who's that walking on air?
Bouncing down the street without a care?

Well, the hunt caught up with Basil Brush and he got clubbed to death
Bill and Ben got Little Weed and smoked it in the she'd
Zebedee OD'ed on E and now he's pushing clover
("It's not lawn, okay? I got it from the Wombles.")
Dougall blindly humps the leg of his owner
("I say! What's that tune?" said Dougall.
"Last post, damn splinter! Ow!")
Buddy is a bigot, the Clangers flew away
The Thunderbirds are puppets
(No! )
And Andy Pandy's gay
(And proud, people. No strings on Andy, he stands up himself these days.)

Who's causing havoc on the docks?
In a pair of bright red braces and cherry red Docs?

Skinhead Sooty, with a killer xylophone
Blood soaked Stanley knife, a racist attitude
He'll wait until you're all alone,
Crack your skull
Break your bones
Send the pieces to your home
He's a one
All in fun
Sooty the Skinhead!
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi - OI!