"I make my living off the Evening News 
Just give me something-something I can use 
People love it when you lose, 
They love dirty laundry 

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here 
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear 
Come and whisper in my ear 
Give us dirty laundry 

Kick 'em when they're up 
Kick 'em when they're down 
Kick 'em when they're up 
Kick 'em when they're down 
Kick 'em when they're up 
Kick 'em when they're down 
Kick 'em when they're up 
Kick 'em all around 

We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who 
comes on at five 
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam 
in her eye 
It's interesting when people die- 
Give us dirty laundry 

Can we film the operation? 
Is the head dead yet? 
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a 
running bet 
Get the widow on the set! 
We need dirty laundry 

You don't really need to find out what's going on 
You don't really want to know just how far it's gone 
Just leave well enough love 
Eat your dirty laundry 

Kick 'em when they're up 
Kick 'em when they're down 
Kick 'em when they're up 
Kick 'em when they're down 

Kick 'em when they're up 
Kick 'em when they're down 
Kick 'em when they're stiff 
Kick 'em all around 

Dirty little secrets 
Dirty little lies 
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie 
We love to cut you down to size 
We love dirty laundry 

We can do "The Innuendo" 
We can dance and sing 
When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing 
We all know that Crap is King 
Give us dirty laundry!