Debbie: I have heard, among this clan, you are called the forgotten man.
Iggy: is that what theyre saying? well, did you evah!
Both: what a swell party this is!
 
Iggy: and have you heard the story of a boy, a girl, unrequited love?
Debbie: sounds like pure soap opera. I may cry.
Iggy: aw...
Both: what a swell party this is!
 
Iggy: what frails!
Debbie: what cocks!
Iggy: what broads!
Debbie: what jocks...
Iggy: what furs! theyre beautiful!
Debbie: why, Ive never seen such...
Both: yuppity!
Debbie: neither did I.
Iggy: its all just too...
Both: swellegant!
 
Debbie: this french champagne...
Iggy: (domestic!)
Debbie: so good for the brain.
Iggy: thats what I was gonna say!
Debbie: well, you know youre a brilliant fellow.
Iggy: thank you, I am!
Debbie: hehe, drink up Jim.
 
Iggy: so... have you ever been out to L.A. lately?
Debbie: well no, not recently.
Iggy: well, I went there and had a rent-a-car and all...
Debbie: oh, really?
Iggy: yeah and I got invited to Pia's house... Pia Zadora's house...
Debbie: really? oh.
Iggy: yeah.
Debbie: was it nice?
Iggy: well, I didnt... I didnt go!
Debbie: oh! hehe.
Iggy: it woulda been swell though!
Debbie: shoulda gone!
Iggy: it woulda been elegant!
Debbie: elegant.
Oh wait, look... look whos coming in now... can you believe it?
Iggy: ...I hear they dismantled pickfair.
Debbie: they did.
Iggy: it wasnt elegant enough. hehe!
Debbie: yeah. probably full of termites.
Iggy: yeah.
 
Both: its great!
Its grand!
Wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wa wonderland!
La la la la la la la la la la la la la.
We sing so rare, like old camembert.
 
Iggy: have you heard that Diane Star - she got bit in the Asster bar.
Debbie: sauced again! well, did you evah...
Both: what a swell party this is!
 
Have you heard?
Its in the stars.
Next July we collide with Mars.
Well did you evah!
 
What a swell party.
What a swell party.
What a swellegant elegant, (sm) party...
Debbie: smarty?
Iggy: party... yeah!
Debbie: a smarty party?
Iggy: I am! a smarty! Im pretty smart!
Debbie: you are a smarty for coming to this party.
Iggy: yeah, thats right!
Debbie: well piss off.
Iggy: hehehe, thats good! I like that.
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