The elderly association from Klazienaratjetoe(*1)
They got a note, they were invited to come on TV
With a full bus to the ‘Vakantieman'(*2)
They made it a nice and cosy day
Everyone with new cloths and everyone happy

After they drove for 3 hours, they arrived
They needed to sit quickly, close to each other
The director called: “All shut up
Don't squint in the camera and applause is obliged
When I wave with my papers the hands hit eachother…

The elderly association got flags and they needed to wave them
But Aunt Mien had asthma and begun coughing
And during the commercials Aunt Mien was taken out of the audience
“Fuck off, bitch, you failed in your behavior”

The elderly association needed to song too, some kind of national anthem
But Uncle Jan without dentures, he couldn't do that
The director didn't knew no pardon, and Uncle Jan was shown the door
This is TV man, no stupid day out

Applause cattle, do you want to clap?
Hands hit each other, 1, 2 hupsakee(*3)
Applause cattle, grieve on TV
Hands hit each other, 1, 2 hupsakee

I can cry about it, I get sick of it
Take those scandal programs with that curding audience
Jan fucked his mother, and Kees the dog
I don't give a fuck, so shut up

Even worse is Hansje with his ‘Rad van Fortuin'(*4)
And I'm not even talking about those pizza's of ‘van Duin'(*5)
Laugh and clap, 1, 2, on commando
Your dog is better in it, ‘apport' the boss Fernando!(*6)

The elderly association from Klazinaratjetoe
Was that day more dead than tired
Uncle Jan and Aunt Mien had enough
They will never go to the ‘vakantieman' again…

(*1 Klazinaratjetoe is just a fictional town)
(*2 ‘De Vakantieman' is an old Dutch program. Translated: “The Holiday guy”)
(*3 Hupsakee isn't really a Dutch word. It's pretty hard to explain. You can say it to children when you help them up a bike or a horse. A bastardized word which means something like ‘there you go' )
(*4 ‘Rad van Fortuin' is an old Dutch game show. Translated: “The Wheel of Fortune”)
(*5 ‘André van Duin' is a famous Dutch comedian. One of his characters is the pizza man)
(*6 ‘Apport' is what you say to your dog when you throw a stick)