if i was a nigger...i could drive a cadillac with class
my pocket stuffed with welfare checks, and i could sit 
on my big black ass
now you take a nigger, he aint nobody's fool, he 
doesn't buy any gasoline to drive his kids to school
damn i wish i was a nigger
our government has gone crazy, id change things if i 
could
if i was only a nigger, i could afford to live in a 
white neighborhood
oh the things that i could do, if i was black and hell 
bent
i could send my kids to college, and it wouldn't cost 
me one damn cent
damn i wish i was a nigger
the wife and i were down on our luck, we were really 
getting uptight
they said at the welfare office, you aint black you're 
white
oh how I've tried to get a job, a diploma i had with 
pride
the post office man laughed and said youre not dark 
enough to even qualify
damn i wish i was a nigger
i took a civil service exam, and passed it without 
shame
a nigger took one next to me, and he couldnt even write 
his own name
the nigger, he got the job, now he's government top ?
prass? 
he couldn't qualify for a trash truck, I'm out on the 
street on my ass
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a Jesse Jackson, id be nobody's slob
wearin $500.00 dollar suits, that nigger hasn't even 
got a job
if i was Jackson Brown, i could sit back and relax
and if elected president, could paint the white house 
black
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a jig-a-boo, i could find me my roots
with a afro big as a watermelon, and a pair of white 
disco boots
if i was only dark complexioned, i could stand tall in 
this life
i could eat high off the hog, just me and my white wife
damn i wish i was a nigger
things are supposed to be segregated, but things are a 
little off key
I've never seen a white man, head...of the NAACP
it aint that i don't like a nigger, if I've rubbed you 
wrong by chance 
take a look at that mistletoe, hanging on the seat of 
my pants
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a kinky top, i could be a Martin Luther King
id have me a vision on a mountain top, my song the 
whole world would sing
i could have me a peace march, on the streets of 
Memphis, Tennessee
i could tare up the whole damn city, and the police 
wouldn't dare stop me
damn i wish i was a nigger
a lot of things in life i know, but one thing i cant 
figure
why a nigger can call me a honkey, and i cant call a 
nigger a nigger
if i was a jungle bunny, i could ring a golden bell
i could be a Mohammed Ali, and be loved by Howard 
Coozell
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was a you-bangy, 7 foot tall and lean
i could be a famous player, on the Washington 
basketball team
if i was only chocolate brown, i could have me some 
turnip greens
a possum fat an watermelon, chitlens and a pot of 
butter beans
damn i wish i was a nigger
now when Martin Luther King, was buried in Washington 
with class
face down in his box, so the politicians could kiss his 
ass
i guess its just politics, and it sure gets my goat
kiss assin with a nigger, just to get his vote
damn i wish i was a nigger
if i was only a ?birdhead?, id live high on the hill
sellin cocaine and prostitutes, and poppin all kinds of 
pills
now take the NAACP, they can march and raise all kinds 
of hell
let the KKK start to move, and they'll all wind up in 
jail
damn i wish i was a nigger
i dreamed my life was over, i heard saint peter say
today we're taken on the niggers, you've gotta go 
the..other way
then i heard the devil, he said i heard what peter had 
to say
but I'm sorry to tell you son, today in hell...is 
nigger day
damn don't you wish you were a nigger
I'm going back to the hills of Arkansas, where they 
don't have those not damn one sided nigger peace 
marches
protesters, welfare check grabbers, I'm gon' plant me 
some turnip greens in a watermelon patch
raise me a hog, and a big fat possum
i said yes i am you mother