If I had forever 

I would live this silence 

I would feed this disease 

Of which you are the cause 

You are the cure 

So hated and yet so sought 

Penetrating my everything 

I thought I did 

I thought I would 

Be able to put this off forever 

But now as my time fades away 



It seems a new reality hits 

And the insured tomorrow is not a constant for me 

With this impending death 

I admit to myself 

With me shall die my petty dreams 



The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails 

Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale 



To die with nothing 

Is a choice I've made 

To derpive myself 

Not telling you

Just how I live through this 

Never will you hear my confessions 

Like the obsession that was born of crayons and toys 

And shall die with me today 



The blood washes off and yet the shame prevails 

Tearing from the eyesockets the tellers of this tale 



It's untold 



And now this loathesome beast 

This would've-could've-should've spectre 

Will crawl into my deathbed 

And I shall smell it's foul breath 

My death will pain me tenfold 

Because no one will know 

To hell with the spent years 

and fuck the shed tears 

I'll burn the books and sketches 

But my guilt will keep knocking 



Knocking 



Knocking on my bedroom door