Santa kissed me under the mistletoe 

tasted like egg nog and it was gross 

said he was lonely and it had been a while 

the elves run frantic when they see that look in his eyes 

he sat me down and went on and on 

wouldn't shut up about how Mrs. Claus had gone 

he said the plumber must've done something right 

he fixed her pipes and she paid him back all through the night... 



fa la la la la la ( X 4 ) 



Santa kissed me under the mistletoe 

i guess i'm wondering how far this would go 

we talked and drank until it was light 

then the bartender kicked us out 'cause we got into a fight 

but i kept thinking of the swag for free 

besides the old geezer needs some company 

well i've been broke this year 

it wouldn't be so bad 

i hate to admit it, but he's the best i've ever had.... 



fa la la la la la ( X 4 ) 



Santa kissed me and i kissed him back 

but i did it for the toys 

figured i could get something more 

than i did from other boys 

Santa kissed me and i kissed him back 

but i did it for the toys 

smiled at me and wanted to see if i would 



but he's a pervert you can tell by his smile 

or check the NAMBLA membership locked in his files 

that big red suit and jolly face is a disguise 

he only took it for the joys of little kids bouncing on his thighs 

he drives me crazy now, he calls me all the time 

i'm gonna dump him as soon as i get what's mine 

guess i should really reveal my family ties 

he won't get a clue so i hit him with a matzo ball 

right between the eyes... 



fa la la la la la ( X 4 ) 



santa kissed me and i kissed him back 

but i did it for the toys 

figured i could get something more 

than i did from other boys 

santa kissed me and i kissed him back 

but i did it for the toys 

smiled at me and wanted to see if i would ( X 2 ) 



what a loser!