In recent year there's been a lot of pop acts singing about being beautiful
Or someone or something being beautiful.
Now, I know this ain't a new thing but it just feels as if these
People don't really know what beauty is and by bandying it around so often
It starts to loose all meaning and worth.
You see "beauty" and "beautiful" are powerful words.
It's more than just a physical thing.
It's more than just a nice pair of tits.
Bring the beat in and let me tell them what I think beauty is...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
I was lucky enough to be near her so I told her.
Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,
And that even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder. [x2]

Now for me to get my definition of beauty across to ya
I must request your attention for the immediate future
It won't take so long as to put you in a catatonic stupor
As I present my case study example: Tommy Cooper.
If you haven't heard of Tommy I'll do my best to explain.
Tommy Cooper was in the entertainment game
Every granddad in Britain can do a Tommy Cooper impression
With a selection of gags, hand movements and facial expressions
His uniform was a suit and a red fez hat
He would combine jokes and magic tricks "just like that"
He'd drift between the two with the most cack handed transition
He was two part comedian and one part magician
Mistakes and mess-ups were a bit part of his show
Which were real and which were planned only he would know
If he messed up or a certain joke bombed
He would start laughing at himself and soon the laughs would catch on
See Tommy gave no regard to class or grace
His only goal was to put a smile on every single face
All his life Tommy lived to just make people laugh
Whether onstage or at home he would just be acting daft

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
I was lucky enough to be near her so I told her.
Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,
And that even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder. [x2]

Whether it appropriate or not become somehow unconnected
Because making people laugh was his only objective
But there's one thing in life no man can avoid
This thing will leave the hearts of loved ones empty and void.
Death will ALWAYS cause hurt and pain
It can take weeks before a smile is on your face again
Sure where reminiscing there can be great happiness
But at the immediate time there's just searing pain and nothing less.
On April 15th, 1984
The London Pallaium was the scene of Tommy's show once more
It was a full house and he had the crowd eating out of his hand.
Everything, as usual, seemed completely unplanned
And in what seemed like a finale Tommy dropped to the floor
Causing the room to erupt into laughter and applause
The curtain closed, lights went out and there was no encore
Everybody left their seats and headed for the door
Unbeknownst to them they had witness Tommy Cooper's death
He had given his all until he had nothing left
Now please note that at the moment that this entertainer died
Even with a room full of people not one tear was cried
Much less, they rose to their feet and they laughed and clapped
Now tell me one fucking thing that's more beautiful than that...
Cos' I'm sure I can't think of one.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
I was lucky enough to be near her so I told her.
Funnily enough I missed the freckles on her shoulder,
And that even on the hottest of nights her skin was colder. [x4]