May I have your attention please (2x)
Will the Real Slim Shady please shut up
I repeat, will the Real Slim Shady please shut up
We're going to have a problem here

You act like you've never heard a white person before
All of your rhymes were heard before
Innocent kid trying to act  hardcore
But Marshall Mathers is back worse than before
He is making a snore
He is also whining in the microphone
It's the return of the... oh, wait, no wait... you're a fool
You didn't pay money for this cd, did you?
And Dr. Dre did..
EVERYTHING  you idiot!!!
Without Dre's help  you're as good as dead
The world's had enough of Eminem
Chici, Chici. Even his girlfriend's cheating on him
Look at him, walking around, living off Dre,
acting so cool, but he's really kind of weak though
Little Twit blasted me on his new cd, why?
Beause I turned him down for a date. (He he)
As for the question of who came first?
Was it Carson Daly or was it Fred Durst?
I'm sorry Slim, but this is going to hurt.
They both came closer than you  ever will, jerk!

Your song is getting on my nerves (2x)
You're kind of lucky, because you received more fame than you deserve.
That is the message that I deliver to little kids.
You can become famous, and never know what talent is.
Of course they're going to like you, of course they do.
You're like a cartoon version of  Ricky Schroder on "Silver Spoons."
You aren't anything, but a product,
packed to be bought.
You know, a year from now, you won't be thought of.
So, you're about dead animals and cannibals.
Some day you'll stop dating ugly people and date prettier people.
There's a million women, just like me,
who think like me, that all can see,
that Slim Shady is just a boy dealing with puberty.
So if you agree, scream loudly with me.

Chorus (2x)

You're Slim Shady, yes you're the real Shady.
You sound like Peter Brady.
You get quite irritating.
So won't the real Slim Shady please shut up, please shut up, please shut up