A question was raised to me the other day

"Why it seem you always have joy?"

Well, I'd like to take time to set the record straight..



All the joy I've ever known

Has disappeared

- in the motherfuckin thin air

Like it's never even been there

My joy left me y'all



[Chorus]

God's rain water flow through the same gutter

That we, walk today gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch



[Verse 1]

And I can't stop feelin empty smiling

A wise man once told me that every cloud has a silver lining

I wanted to believe him but it's a trick to find 'em

When the people around me continue dying

Granddad was in the twilight of his life

When he closed his eyes tight and opened his wrists wide

What make a tenth round finer with the winning score

Decide to eat or throw it's hollow for the whistle blow

Maybe I'll never know

But I inherited this poetic soul so the symbolism's yet to show

Was life so obscene that death's more serene?

Or was an old author tryin to write his own closing scene?

Nothing stings like knowing that the woman that gave me this life

Is being eaten from the inside

I thought we never make shit right

I wish I had of viewed it once clear before you were done here

That's two in one year that I let leave here

Loving me without sheding one single tear

Either I'm one of the strongest people left

Or y'all just tow me for even tryin to steal breath



[Chorus x2]

And God's rain water flow through the same gutter

That we, walk today gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch



[Verse 2]

They say shit's strapped but you are by yourself, ain't ya?

Damn straight, I got a jail cell mantra

Been boxed up but I never been settled in

Him got tough started developin leather skin

I learned to make that face that tells predators

It's better to re-assess just who you bout to wrestle with

I'm on a run like the first kick drum of the beat

Clear my lungs, spit blood on the street

They tellin me we got nuttin to fear but fear itself

But I fear I have no human fear left

Some day a runner wanna peel back this catharsis

And really feel life again and ask what my challenge is

I been kickin and bitin for so long and

When they throw me a rescue rope I'll be too weary to hold on

And see the light, so I sing through the tears

And the key of life, the way a wounded ego might



[Chorus x2]

And God's rain water flow through the same gutter

That we, walk today gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch



My joy left me y'all

She don't show her face around his past

Every time she come she get chased off

So she stay distant



[Verse 3]

If it run from the square he wouldn't know the sun was out

I hate every word that come outta his fuckin mouth

Ladies treat him special, don't know nuttin bout him

If saw what his wife see they wouldn't fluster bout him

He can't do shit right but rap and make babies

And babies need daddy at home consistent

But rap keep daddy on the road religious

So even in my two loves my soul's so conflicted

My son came into this world innocent

He deserves everything that he needs to live in it

And this home I made for him is broken

I'm hopin his love for me will never grow thin

It hurts daddy to no end to know when

You're cryin at the hospital I'm out tryin to rock a show

I made a vow that we'd never be broke again

And I'd never be a burden on another friend

So when I'm sweatin on my farewell stage

And wrote my last hook in my last rhyme book

When I get my last line of approval from my family

This is the man that I have to be



[Chorus x4]

And God's rain water flow through the same gutter

That we, walk today gotta stay brave brother

Keep your lips stiff, keep your fist clenched

At times you gotta kick your way through this bitch



Sometimes

I feel

Like I'm Al-most gone