In Heaven there is no beer

(No beer?!)

That's why we drink it here

And when we're all gone from here

Our friends will be drinking all the beer.





In Heaven there is no wine

(No wine?!)

So we drink till we feel fine

And when we leave this all behind

Our friends will be drinking all the wine.





In Heaven there is no fear

(No fear)

So we worry too much here

And we drink ourselves full of beer

To help us when we deal with the fear.





In Heaven there are no drugs

That's why we hang with thugs

And when the Lord pulls the plug

All the thugs will still be selling drugs, yeah.





Thugs and drugs

Beer...





In Heaven there is no sex

(Oh no!)

So let's do that next

And when our muscles no longer flex

Someone else will be having sex.





In Heaven there are no wars

Or cars, or movie stars

And when we no longer are

The world will probably still be having wars.





What the heck! Yeah!





Sex and war,

Bars and cars.

Drugs, thugs,

And delicious food.