Someday, I'm gonna be famous
Do I have talent? Well, no
These days you don't really need it
Thanks to reality shows

Can't wait to date a supermodel
Can't wait to sue my Dad
Can't wait to wreck a Ferrari
On my way to rehab

'Cause when you're a celebrity, it's adios reality
You can act just like a fool
People think you're cool just 'cause you're on TV
I can throw a major fit
When my latte isn't just how I like it
When they say I've gone insane
I'll blame it on the pain
And the pressures that go with being a celebrity
Ah ha

I'll get to cy to Barbara Walters
When things don't go my way
An' I'll get community service
No matter which law I break

I'll make the supermarket tabloids
They'll write some awful stuff
But the more they run my name down
The more my price goes up

'Cause, when you're a celebrity, it's adios reality
No matter what you do
People think you're cool just 'cause you're on TV
Now, I can fall in and out of love
Have marriages that barely last a month
When they go down the drain
I'll blame it on the fame
And say: "It's just so tough, being a celebrity"

So let's hitch up the wagons and head out west
To the land of fun in the sun
We'll be real world, bachelor, jackass millionaires
Hey, hey, Hollywood, here we come

Yeah, when you're a celebrity, it's adios reality
No matter what you do
People think you're cool just 'cause you're on TV
Being a celebrity
Yeah, a celebrity
Ah ha

Ah, where's my coffee?