You can be mean to me, 

mean as you want to be,

just say anything that you like.

You can be nasty and caddy and

cruel and unsual.

Twist my nose with your fingers, 

trip me while I carry liquids.



[chuckles in the background]



But as you pin me down, 

my arms down on the ground.

As your spit drips into my face, [chuckles in the background]

deep in the back of your mind,

remember at some point you'll have to fall asleep.



[hysterical laughter in the background]



And when you fall asleep,

into your room I'll creep.

Did something move in the dark 'neath your bed?

And then a voice you hear,

calling out loud and clear.

A voice that is your own. 

A voice that's saying "Aaargh!?"



[hysterical laughter]



There things that one can do

with Bengay, nair and superglue, [chuckles]

a package of indellable dye. [chuckles]

Why would a guy

such as I 

ever buy

indellable dye? 

Blue as the sky?

Don't ask me why.



This catalog I found 

sells roaches by the pound. [chuckles]

Millipedes, cetipedes too.

They say the meek shall inherit

because they stay up late and change the will. 



[laughter]



And when you fall asleep,

into your room I'll creep.

Did something move in the dark 'neath your bed?

And then a voice you hear.

It's calling loud and clear.

A voice that is your own.

A voice that's saying "Aaargh!?" 



[laughter]