"Whole house freeze!"



It was a Thursday I stepped to the club, there she was

Draped in a burgundy dress, silhouetted superbly

Curved indeed, she started staring in my direction

Luring and urging seductively, body language instructing me

I offered her a drink instead she took a cup of tea

And then I lied about my luxury lifestyle

I said "So who you be? You looking kind of tight, gal

I would love to see you in a nightgown"

She said "They call me the Dragon Queen and I come from Tibet

I'm calm in the face of pressure and you'll never see me sweat

I've come to your country in search of a lost Scroll

That contains directions to a hidden village comprised of gold"

I looked at her confused and said "But why have you told me this?"

She said the description that I fit

Was that of the Chosen One who'd go beyond

Then slipped a concoction in my drink

Immediately set my consciousness adrift:



Now I'm in that zone dwelling, I woke in a warehouse tied to a chair

With an abundance of flair surrounding me in a circular angle

Glared up at the Dragon Queen's lair, wasn't imagining a thing

Her steps on the stairs had a magic Gleam, glowed brightly

To prepare me for my journey a Sword was hovering towards me

Plus garlic from the Keepers of the Gate who bore all the secrets and take

Care of trespassers, but at last it's prophesied that I would gain

Access to a cultural dynasty buried and seize and capture the Scroll

Massive helicopters patrolled the rooftops, strapped in

Began travelling into the darkness, knew not of what awaited

Thought of a way to get out of it, just then the bottom gave way

I began falling and gave it ten seconds, pulled the cord on my parachute

Landed surrounded by a herd of wild barracudas, lions

The sounds of the wild kingdom piercing like a siren

Was I entering near the mere mortal life span's end?

Defiantly I stood boldly as they began closing in

And time seemed to be moving rapidly just then:



"Whole house freeze!"



Just then I pulled the Sword and somehow

It affected all the creatures as they stepped back and bowed

And the same Glow that I seen in the Sword I seen in the eyes of the Lion

Who began leading me in a specific direction as if trying to tell me something

Just over the horizon, the same creatures who had been described

Appeared in statue form but their eyes scoped

And as I approached the gate they began to break open and cried

"AFTER YEARS WE HAVE FINALLY BEEN AWAKENED!"

The assault was on, I got knocked to the ground by one

Shocked in an unorthodox form boxing

Throwing an abnormal proportion of body blows, karate chops

And drop kicks, plunged struggling deeper into the swamp

Then I grabbed my Sword, the garlic put it around my neck

Saw that it was draining all of their energy and then with a swing

Off with their heads!

The gates slowly and mysteriously opened

So curiously I moseyed in with intensity focusing on my objective

Spider webs the size of king-size beds

Fell into a secret passage not knowing to where it lead

Just then the same Light beamed brightly and in the distance

At that instance, lo and behold, the hidden Scroll!

And just as I thought my mission was over

I could feel the Dragon Queen breathing heavily over my shoulder



As she began to transform and metamorphosise

She took on an assortment of legs, arms, heads and eyes

And sprouted two horns and began to breathe fire

So once again I grabbed my trusty Sword but to my astonishment

She burned it to a crisp turned and grasped the Scroll

And exited much faster than secreted gas, I'm gasping

Clasp full of flames cast in my direction

I saw my whole life flash and the possibility of death

And a casket passed into the ground, pound for pound, astounding

How could I survive and last another round inside this madness?



"Whole house freeze!"