A fine romance with no kisses 

A fine romance, my friend, this is 

We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes (to-mah-toes, dear) 

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed po-tah-toes (potatoes) 



A fine romance, you won't nestle 

A fine romance, you won't even wrestle 

You've never mussed the crease in my blue serge pants 

You never take a chance, this is a fine romance 



A fine romance, my good fellow 

You take romance, I'll take Jello 

You're calmer than the seals in the Arctic Ocean 

At least they flap their fins to express emotion 



A fine romance, my dear Duchess 

Two old fogies, we really need crutches 

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France! (Fronce) 

I haven't got a chonce (chance), this is a fine romance 



A fine romance, my good woman 

My strong, aged-in-the-wood woman 

You never give those orchids I send a glance 

They're just like cactus plants, (oh boy) 

This is a fine romance!