Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! 
Oh, why is it always Miss Marmelstein? 
Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein? 
Other girls get called by their first names right away 
They get cozy intimate ... Do you know what I mean? 
Nobody calls me: "hey, baby doll!" 
Or "Honey Dear" or "Sweetie Pie" 
Even my first name would be preferable 
Though it's terrible, it might be better: it's Yetta! 
Or perhaps my second name that's Tessye 
Spells T-E-S-S-Y-E! 
But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein! 
You'd think at least Miss M. they could try... 
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! 
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! 
Oh, I could die! 
I'm a very willing secretary 
Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate 
except for one disappointment one fly in the ointment 
It's great I mean simply great 
But the aggravation of my situation 
I might as well get it off my chest 
It's the drum appellation 
Oh pardon the big words I apply 
But I was an English major at C.C.N.Y. 
Drum appellation! 
Well, literally I am persistently addressed 
Persistently, perpetually, continually and inevitably addressed! 
Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic 
Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? 
Miss Marmelstein? Miss Marmelstein? 
Other girls get called by their nick names right away 
slightly naughty or riske 
Do you know what I mean? Ha! Ha...Mmmmmmm! 
Nobody calls me : "Koo-Chee-Koo" or "Boobala" or "Passion Pie" 
Even "Hey There Babe!" thought not respectable 
Ain't so objectable 
It's kind of crummy but chummy 
Of course if I got married, that would do it 
So, where's the lucky guy? Ha... 
Till then it still is Miss Marmelstein! 
Everyday I get more and more fast 
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! 
Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! Miss Marmelstein! 
Oh...Oh...Oh...! 
I could Bust!