Here's a story of an honest man losing religion,

Climbing the pulpit steps before an eager congregation,

The while praying came a wicked inspiration,

Brothers, sisters this is what he said:



Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved, 

(Make no mistake, despite our traits, I've seldom seen evidence of genes)

I can't relate to you, I can't relate to you!



He was the kind of guy who'd always go right out of his way,

But more before that crazy notion leapt right into his head,

And stubbornly crept into every mad perception,

I can't deny a funny feeling when he said:



Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved,

I can't relate to you, I can't relate to you!



Dearest in memoriam - set phasers to stun

And grab yourself a neighbors' skeleton to lean upon,

Did you know him in life - one filled with regret,

So soon we all forget - we ever met,



Do you know my name - sing a light refrain

For a man estranged - I won't deny that I'm inclined to isolate



Dearly beloved, dearly beloved, dearly beloved, 

I can't relate to you, I can't relate to you!

I can't relate to you, I can't relate to you, I can't relate to you!