Oh, I’ll never forget how we met, dear
On that specialist site on the net, dear
Where you taught me the uses 
Of handcuffs and nooses
We danced to the masochism tango!

Oh, you used to bring home those pipe-cleaners
And stick half a dozen down my penis
Then wrapped me in chains
Plugged you into the mains
And we danced to the masochism tango!

Each summer’s day
We’d go outside and play
A morning of croquet
And you’d brain me with the mallet
I cooked you meals
Of freshly-slaughtered veals
And shards of stainless steels
That got lodged in your palette

Oh, the weight that you hung from my foreskin
And the places you inserted corks in
And the time that your trainers
Got lodged in my anus
We danced to the masochism tango!

You wore that dress
Made from barbed-wire mesh
That tore into your flesh
Whichever way you moved
It left me scarred
It made me bleed so hard
The late Marquis De Sade
Would surely have approved

Oh, we drank from the cup of depravity
Then you shoved the cup into my cavity
Wedged a fork in my head
Wanked me off 'til I bled
And we danced to the masochism tango!

You sang me love songs so tender
Stuck my cock in the blender
And we danced to the maso-chism tango!