God's gift to ballroom notoriety
 And I always fill my ballroom
 The event is never small
 All the social papers say I've got the biggest balls of all

 CHORUS
 I've got big balls
 I've got big balls
 And they're such big balls
 Dirty big balls
 And he's got big balls,
 And she's got big balls,
 But we've got the biggest balls of them all!

 And my balls are always bouncing
 My ballroom always full
 And everybody comes and comes again
 If your name is on the guest list
 No one can take you higher
 Everybody says I've got great balls of fire!

 CHORUS

 Some balls are held for charity
 And some for fancy dress
 But when they're held for pleasure,
 They're the balls that I like best.
 And my balls are always bouncing,
 To the left and to the right.
 It's my belief that my big balls should be held every night.

 CHORUS

 And I'm just itching to tell you about them
 Oh, we have such wonderful fun
 Seafood cocktail
 Crabs
 Crayfish