[Intro]

"You again" - "Are you following me?"

"Why no, I'm stalking you"

[scratching]

From a distance I desired her

Se-secretly admired her

[scratching]

From a distance I desired her

Se-secretly admired her


[Verse 1]

I stroll through the mall

Runnin' my finger along the wall

I just left a restroom stall

Got a strange way of movin'

Strange way of dressin'

Strange way of makin' a, good first impression

Memphis only jacket, unidentified packet

Sunglasses, jeans wash was acid, newspaper in the back

I also got a dagger strapped to my leg

but who knows what I'm gonna do with that

A sick fuck without employment

Hankerin' in every single shopping center for my own enjoyment

I checkin' out a girl that's fly

She's workin' at the mack make-up counter next to Best Buy

Waitin' by the elevator, tryna look busy

So I can figure out what I'm gonna tell her later

First time I met her I didn't really bait her

I was making change as she was purchasin' a peter

I gave her money back, she gave me a look

Batted her, eyelashes that was all that it took

Now she owes me, cause it's obvious she wants me

I'm looking at you, girl I must have you


[Sample of someone talking]

Cause you're the one

You are the unspoiled virgin bride

You are the blonde canvas on which I will paint my future

Don't you remember you smiled at me once at the croissant tray


[Verse 2]

Quirky and eccentric, I'm a true fiend

I know her routine, her eyes are blue green

I guess they're contacts cause they used to be brown

Plus I watched her get 'em at the optician downtown

I'm always scopin' her usually from far away

She rides the silver Audi off to work everyday

Except for Thursday she gets a ride from her mother

or some other dude until I killed that motherfucker

Forget the narrative, I'm thinkin' horse drawn carriages

and marriages, she likes to eat esparogus so I think

Cause it stinks when I'm hangin' out

At her bathroom sink, having a drink

When she's at the shrink

Yo she never should've winked

Now I got her name on my arm in ink

I'm in her closet strokin' her mink

Looking for the missing link

But all I find is Pink and N'Sync

She's sweet, sixteen and good yet she's callin' me a creep

Cause I'm sneakin' through her backyard just to watch her sleep

Rain snow or sleet, ya gotta understand

Everywhere she goes there I am, the stalker


[Hook: scratching]

From a distance I desired her

Se-secretly admired her

[scratching]

From a distance I desired her


Alright wanna know what I do

Listen this is how it goes


[Verse 3]

Find out where she works, go online do a search

Dig up some dirt, put on a shirt buy her some skirts

But look like a regular guy don't go berserk

You whole goal's to flirt but now ya gotta lurk

Pretend you're a customer, grab yourself a map

And throw an extra sweater in the bag from The Gap

And keep a low pro, but don't look conspicuous

And don't wear that Iceberg, Why?, it looks ridiculous

Rapid french find a bench near the wench

Put your elbows on ya lap and just sit there like that

Nah, it sounds dreadful but find out her schedule

If she gotta close, ya gotta rock the janitor's clothes

and change thrash 'til ya knees hurt

Water plants in the short sleeve shirt cause you need work

And if she's off at eleven

Be outside with ya lights out and the engine revvin'


[engine revving]


[Older guys talking]

Well I realise recently that I'm getting older

and I think that when I knew this was that teenage girls

don't acknowledge me as a sexual being

Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that I wanna

have sex with teenage girls throw me a bone ya know

How about a smile ya know what I mean? nothing

Nothing unless it's to turn to their friends and go

Why is that weird guy looking at us? [laughing]

What is he doing at the mall?

We can get to the food court their guards there run you guys

I lied, I lied, I lied, of of course I wanna have sex with

teenage girls, doesn't everyone, [laughing even louder]

I mean that's why there's a law [everyone laughs]

If no one wanted to do it

THERE WOULDN'T BE A LAW! [everyone laughs]