First ten rows, classroom seats
Dirty movies, twenty bucks a piece
You won't regret it, Led Zeppelin IV
Another no show, the Gremlin roars
Don't fear the reaper, Lincoln surrenders
Jefferson, my little brother

[Chorus:]
Earth, Wind, Fire
I'm not a fuckin' scalper
You owe me for this one

Call the shots, scare the band
Members Only, needs a hand
Women do respond, to cardboard stares
Brian Johnson, five point plan
Girls go haywire, my best friend

[Chorus]

Not in my gym, take it somewhere else
Remember the horror roll, it's a guarantee
This is great iced tea, nothing's free
Seventy five, and a ride
You wanted it more than I did
You wanted it more than I did
Earth, Wind, Fire