Holes appearing on your lawn
Don't you blame the man next door
It's not him

Flowers walk from place to place
Dark spot moves around your face
Objects vanish without trace
It's not you

I'm the mole from the Ministry
And you'll all bow down to me
I'm the mole in your potting shed
I'm the bad thoughts inside your head
And you won't catch me

(Fish and visitors smell after three days)
If you thinks there's something strange
Garden starts to rearrange
From perfect lawn to mountain range
It's not you

I'm the mole from the Ministry
   Working underground
And you'll all bow down to me
   Moving facts and figures all around
I'm the mole in your potting shed
   Undermine your world
I'm the bad thoughts inside your head
And you shouldn't think me, No!
And you shouldn't think me
Mole
Mole
Mole