I'm not a Starfleet commander, or T.J. Hooker. I don't 
live on Starship NCC-170... , or own a phaser. I don't 
know anybody named Bones, Sulu, or Spock (picture of Dr. 
Benjamin Spock is shown on screen behind him). And no, 
I've never had green alien sex, but I'm sure it'd be 
quite an evening. (Pomp and Circumstance begins playing.) 
I speak English and French, not Klingon! I drink 
Labatt's, not Romulan ale! And when someone says to me 
'live long and prosper', I seriously mean it when I say, 
'get a life'. My doctor's name is not McCoy, it's 
Ginsberg (nude picture of Dr. Ginsberg shown on screen). 
And tribbles were puppets, not real animals. PUPPETS! And 
when I speak, I never, ever talk like Every. Word. Is. 
Its. Own. Sentence. I live in California, but I was 
raised in Montreal. And I believe in priceline.com, where 
you never have to pay full price for airline tickets, 
hotels, and car rentals! I've appeared onstage at 
Stratford, at Carnegie Hall, Albert Hall, and the 
Monkland Theatre in NDG. And, yes, I've gone where no man 
has gone before, but... I was in Mexico and her father 
gave me permission! My name is William Shatner, and I am 
Canadian!
—from a Just for Laughs appearance; a parody of the 
popular Molson Canadian Commercial entitled I Am Canadian