It feels like
I've been alone too long
With no girls around,
My mind was wondering,
Thinking of some way, to release it

I looked in the kitchen,
Saw some crisco oil
and thats when my blood started to boil
Oooohhh yeah!

Ow, ow, ow! (Uh-oh) Ow, ow, ow!
(oh god, what did I just do?)

No-one wanted to be with me,
had to make my dream come true
I wanted to hump something,
I didn't know what to do
It seemed like a good idea,
and no-one else was around
I stuck my weenie in a bottle,
and now I can't get it out

(stuck my weenie in a bottle today,
gonna shove it up all the way,
I stuck my weenie in a bottle, oh no,
i can't, just can't,
someone help me out)

Its turning purple, all the feeling's gone
Now where did I put that friggin' phone?
Dialling 911

Please pick up, I'm in alot of pain
This was supposed to feel good,
now I'm suffering
Oh please answer

Denver 911, what is your emergency?
Ow, ow, ow! Hello? Ow, ow, ow!
Sir, what seems to be the problem?

No-one wanted to be with me,
had to make my dream come true
I wanted to hump something,
I didn't know what to do
It seemed like a good idea,
and no-one else was around
I stuck my weenie in a bottle,
and now I can't get it out

You stuck your weenie in a bottle, oh my
You must be a really lonely guy,
You stuck your weenie in a bottle,
thats a first
Don't worry sir,
we're sending somebody out
Hey Pam, this guy's got his weenie
stuck in a bottle!
- No way!
He does!
What a friggin' loser!
Wait, sir, we're sending somebody out
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

(He's in here, lets break the door down!
Stand back! OH MY GOD! AHAHAHAHA!!!)

No-one wanted to be with him,
he had to make his dream come true,
he wanted to hump something,
I didn't know what to do,
it seemed like a good idea,
and no-one else was around,
he stuck his weenie in a bottle,
now I can't get it out!

Ok, relax kid,
we're gonna get this thing off ya!
Ok Harry get ready.
PULL, PULL, PULL!

Stuck my weenie in a bottle today, now now,
now I can't get it out