Was tilted at an angle
What looked like a smile
Turned out to be a mango
He's got raw meat
Dangling from his glasses
Tonight is the night
He's going to kick their asses
He's broke, he's ugly, and unskilled
And he's dressed to be killed

(Gratuitous rap)
He's broke, he's ugly, and unskilled
And he's dressed to be killed

His luck is gonna change
He found a one-leaf clover
His fortune cookie said
"What's the point, your life is over"
He must be nuts
There's a bullseye on his back
He's standing at ground zero
Of a nuclear attack
He's broke, he's ugly, and unskilled
And he's dressed to be killed