I'd lay my head on the railroad tracks
 And wait for the Double "E"
 But the railroad don't run no more
 Poor, poor pitiful me
 
 Poor, poor pitiful me
 Poor, poor pitiful me
 These young girls won't let me be
 Lord have mercy on me
 Woe is me
 
 Well, I met a girl in West Hollywood
 I ain't naming names
 She really worked me over good
 She was just like Jesse James
 She really worked me over good
 She was a credit to her gender
 She put me through some changes, Lord
 Sort of like a Waring blender
 
 Poor, poor pitiful me
 Poor, poor pitiful me
 These young girls won't let me be
 Lord have mercy on me
 Woe is me
 
 Well, I met a girl at the Rainbow bar
 She asked me if I'd beat her
 She took me back to the Hyatt House
 I don't want to talk about it
 
 Poor, poor pitiful me
 Poor, poor pitiful me
 These young girls won't let me be
 Lord have mercy on me
 Woe is me
 
 (Well, I met a girl from the Vieux Carre`
 Down in Yokahama
 She picked me up and she throwed me down
 I said, "Please don't hurt me, Mama")