Oh, the moon was full

And the color of blood

The night the pirates came 

To the Vampire Club

Their leader was tall and snide and slim

He looked like a gay Captain Morgan

Well, he recognized a Vampire 

From his school

And he did something that was 

Most uncool, he said,

"Hey everybody, see the fool in the cape?"

His name's Bernie Weinstein

And he's in the 8th grade!"



Fangs were flying, capes were torn

Hell hath no fury like a Vampire scorned

Number one rule in this game:

Never call one by his real name

Wigs were pulled, top hats were crushed

By pointy boots in a rush

And Boris at the bar orders a Bud and says,

"It's just another night at the Vampire Club."



Missi lost a fang in the ladies room

And we all laughed and called her "Snaggletooth!"

And Dee was mad cause he broke his cane

And he flushed his contacts down the drain

There was so much angst after the fight

Vlad and Akasha broke up that night

While some rivet-heads danced in a puddle of goo

That used to be "Father" you-know-who!





Well, its hard to believe but we're still around

And when we hang out it's allways upside down

Dressed in black from toe to head singing,

"Bela Lugosi's still undead!"

A gaggle of goths is a peaceful site

We'd do anything to avoid a fight

But if you really want to see some gore and blood

Wait 'til the Ravers come to the Vampire Club