Now I've been around for a long time
And I learned along the way
That if you wanna go on the radio
There are words you just can't say
Now I thought long about it
And I found a way around it
Help me go on the radio
You gotta say those words I can't
You got to sing a long
To make this song
The dirtiest song that aint
Come on, ma'm! Wont you give me a hand
And say those words I can't
You got to sing a long
To make this song
The dirtiest song that aint

Down in Carolina
I met a girl with a nice
So I reached down between us
And I whipped out my
We skipped right passed the sucking
And got right down to
She turned and said "I gotta ask
Would you slip it into my?"

Help me go on the radio
You gotta say those words I can't
You got to sing a long
To make this song
The dirtiest song that aint
Come on, man! Wont you give me a hand
And say those words I can't
You got to sing a long
To make this song
The dirtiest song that aint

Her husband was a trucker
He was a filthy mother
I didn't want to wrastle
With this no good stinkin'
I heard him come through the kitchen door
As I was banging his filthy
I knew I'd end up in a ditch
If he caught me riding his

Help me go on the radio
You gotta say those words I can't
You got to sing a long
To make this song
The dirtiest song that aint
Come on, ma'm! Wont you give me a hand
And say those words I can't
You got to sing a long
To make this song
The dirtiest song that aint

"Mercy, Please!" I told him!
But he grabbed me by the
And he did something Heinous
He exposed his
I said "I don't mean to seem crass
But why are you buttering up your?"
He said "My wife's a beard and she lured you here
Because I'm queer and I love it in the!"

You helped me go on the radio by saying the words I can't.
You had to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song that ain't.
Sir and ma'am, thanks for lending a hand.
By saying the words I can't.
You had to sing along to make this song
The dirtiest song,
The filthiest song,
The dirtiest song that ain't.