Arr, arr, arr, arr



We are the pirates who dont do anything 

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

Well just tell you we dont do anything



But Ive never been to Cleveland

And I've never been to Denver

And Ive never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul

And Ive never been to Moscow

And Ive never been to Tampa

And Ive never been to Boston in the fall



We are the pirates who dont do anything 

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

Well just tell you we dont do anything



And Ive never hoist the mainstay

And Ive never swabbed the poop deck

And Ive never veer to starboard

Cause I never sail at all



And Ive never walked the gangplank

And Ive never owned a parrot

And Ive never been to Boston in the fall



Cause were the pirates who dont do anything 

We just stay at home and lay around

And if you ask us to do anything

Well just tell you we dont do anything



O Ive never plucked a rooster

And I'm not too good at ping ball

And Ive never thrown my mashed potatoes

Up against the wall



And Ive never kissed a chipmunk

And Ive never gotten head lice 

And Ive never been to Boston in the fall



And Ive never licked a spark plug

And Ive never sniffed a stinkbug

And Ive never painted daises 

On a big red rubber ball



And Ive never bathed in yogurt

And I dont look good in leggings

And Ive never been to Boston in the fall!