Lai-lai lai lai lai lai lai lai,
Lai lai-lai lai,
Lai lai-lai lai!
Lai-lai lai lai lai lai lai lai,
Lai lai-lai lai,
Lai lai-lai lai!

There's a girl
We see each other every day
But I, I'm too shy
And I can't even bring myself to say
"Hello, how are you today?
Lovely weather, by the way,
If I was with you, I'd be happy to pay!"

Oh, for dinner, not... oh, fuck!

She's so cute
She's got a little button head
And I try to be cool
But then I just trip over and nearly spew
I just can't find a way to
Let her know that I'll be true
So I know what I must do...

I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod
That's how I'm gonna win her hand
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod
And I'm a thirty-eight-year-old man

And when I've won the Rock Eisteddfod
She won't leave me on the shelf
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod
Win the Rock Eisteddfod by myself
With no-one else
On stage by myself

My thematic concept
Will be a post-apocalyptic nightmare
Made of cardboard boxes,
And foil taped to my stack hat
She'll be impressed!
And my costume will be the best
When the curtain rises, I'll be dressed
In fluoro bike shorts and a fur vest

I can see it now
We'll be the toast of Highpoint
She'll fall in love
With my mix of funky dance moves
And school spirit
And she'll finally let me near it
I'm a master of my art
That's the way I'll win her heart...
... For my school!

I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod
That's how I'm gonna win her hand
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod
And I'm a thirty-eight-year-old man
When I've won the Rock Eisteddfod
She won't leave me on the shelf
I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod
Win the Rock Eisteddfod by myself

And as for music, I'll only choose it
If it's got a serious environmental message
I'll start with "Hungry Like the Wolf"
And then, "It's Raining Men"

I hope it works
I hope she falls in love with me
My backup plan
Will leave these rookie amateurs behind
And I'll really blow her mind
And I'll build my Jazz Ballet rep
I'll go the logical next step...

I'm gonna win the Eurovision
Be a star and make her see
Singing in a foreign language
Maybe then she'll understand me

And when I've won the Eurovision
She won't leave me on the shelf
I'm gonna win the Eurovision
Then I finally won't be by myself
In row boats by myself
On see-saws by myself
Eating two ice-creams by myself