My life was completely astrous when I met you
(Not "disastrous")
So gruntled with this life I thought I had
(Opposite of "disgruntled")
How could a love so perfect be so vincible?
(Not "invincible")
I could have sworn that you were scrutable
My judgement was so bad
("Bad", opposite of "unbad")

But you were kempt, so kempt
Everything about you was seemly
You were kempt, so kempt
Of course I'd be bedevilled
So gusting and so shevelled
Were you

It started out so wholesome, so pure
(Tell 'em about it...)
We engaged in speakable acts
(Nothing too saucy...)
Although we had hibitions, we were totally toward
(You should have seen it coming)
But I'd always had a tendency to under react

Our love is defunct
When it once was funct
You've debunked all the myths
You had previously bunked

When you were kempt, so kempt
Everything about you was seemly
You were kempt, so kempt
(Of course he'd be bedevilled)
So gusting and so shevelled
Were you

You always seemed so honest and so sidious.
(You were an angel.)
I checked your phone bill, it was full of crepancies.
(Everything was in order! )
But I found out one evening, you'd been creet
(Aha! )
When you and your ex booked a motel, cognito

Your ex! Your ex!
It was a personal attack!
You were going out with prefixes
Behind my back!

(He asked you questions, no more terrogation,
He acted, and he dumped you straight away
You're free, enjoy your newfound carceration)
You're the ex I'd always pected
I'll never member you again
You always derstood me anyway

You sent a bliminal message
By cheating with your ex
But I just think you had
A feriority complex

But anyway, I've found someone else

And she is kempt, so kempt
Everything about her is seemly
She is kempt, so fucking kempt!
Her Christian name is Ingrid
She lets me call her Grid
And she takes off her derpants for me!