It seems like only yesterday
When my father sat me down, and said:
"Have a good gig at the Prince Pat tomorrow night."
It was actually this morning
And he got the dates confused
(My Dad... he's a fuckwit! )

I remember another time
When my father sat me down and said:
"The people in the row behind can't see."
I said, "Dad, we're on a bus,
And there's nothing much to see."
And he said,
"The landscape, son. The landscape."

When I reached a certain age
As all the young boys do
My body started changing
I grew another head
I had an operation
And I had that head removed
Which was fortunate 'cause at the time there was a shortage of head donors

My Dad took really good care of me
Sat by my side every day
When I started to recover
Dad told me I was old enough
To hear some of the things he had to say
Hey hey hey

My Dad said
"Son, you've turned out nice
You're old enough to hear my advice
You're a man now
And so I want to tell you what I know

"Son, keep your receipts
Keep your receipts
If money is a cash cow, then planning is the meat,
So son, keep your receipts
Keep your receipts

"Son, keep your receipts
Keep your receipts.
If life's a bog in Ireland, then wisdom is the peat
So son, keep your receipts
Keep your receipts."